The Hangover Part Three
by xXCHAZYWOOXx
Summary: They each had their own adventure, small or large, and they each survived it with a minimal amount of therapy.   But this was entirely different. This was new. "Just tell her," Alan spoke up. Stu nodded, "It's the only way." Rating may go up.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- Please, notify me if there are any spelling mistakes; I will fix them as quick as I can. Also, review, and help me come up with some crazy ideas to put into this story. It might help me move along faster.**

**I know this is short, but it is just the prologue.**

* * *

><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

"I'm sorry Tracey,' he coughed into the phone, "we did it again."

The air was hot and thick; a terrible combination. The three men stood with their tired bodies; a shroud of hopelessness surrounding them. Their clothing was in tatters and soaked with sweat. Each of them kept their eyes on the ground, with the exception of the speaker, who kept his eyes to the horizon.

The speaker softened his voice slightly, as if he was trying to physically cushion the blow.

The other two sat patiently, trying to home in on what the other person was saying on the phone.

"We really fucked up…" He said quietly. "We lost him, I'm so sorry."

Now, it's not like this hasn't happened before. No these three tired men faced similar circumstances. They each had their own adventure, small or large, and they each survived it with a minimal amount of therapy.

But this was still entirely different. This was new.

"Just tell her," Alan spoke up, his head still hanging on his chest, and his shoulders bunched up near his ears, as if he was hiding himself between them.

Next to him, Stu nodded, "It's the only way. She's going to find out one way or the other."

"Phil's _dead_ Tracey," Doug said. He lowered his head himself and slowly glanced at the other two men looking for some kind of message.

The other two looked away, keeping their eyes on the sandy ground.

Dough breathed in deeply, "and...we _killed_ him."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- Since I have been getting so many hateful reviews I would like to explain something. No, Phil is not dead. I will not tell you why they said he was dead. **

**I've never read any fanfiction on the hangover so if there are any similarities between mine and another author's that is a complete coincidence. **

**Now please, **_**try**_** to enjoy.**

* * *

><p><strong><em>A few days earlier<em>**

"No, _No_, _**NO!**_"

"Aw c'mon, it'll be fun!"

"There is no way in heck I'm wearing _that!"_

Phil leaned over the couch his friend had tucked himself behind. He smiled broadly, his perfect teeth glinting in the little light of the room, "Pleeease Alan~" He made his best pout-y face.

Alan huffed and drew himself further behind the couch. After a few seconds he gave in.

"You stink Phil!" he growled. Standing up, he climbs carelessly over the couch. With a glare, he snatches the attire from the taller man and moves a few feet away to get changed. The minute he reached for his pants, Phil hurries out of the room.

"So, did he agree to the terms and conditions?" Doug looked up from the newspaper he was reading to see Phil quickly closing the door behind him. They were in Alan's house. Doug had pulled over two chairs to sit in outside the door. A few moments ago, they were having trouble convincing Alan to open it and get into the clothing they had brought.

"Yep, everyone," Phil smiled as he pushed his hair back.

"Even the suit?" Doug raised an eyebrow.

"Even the suit," Phil confirmed. He took his seat next to him. He let out a relaxed sigh as he propped his feet up on Doug's lap. Doug glared at him disapprovingly, which of course, Phil ignored.

The room quickly got heavy with silence, but not the comfortable kind; the _awkward_ kind. A few minutes of shifting in his chair, Phil decided to break the quietness.

"Cant believe I won those tickets."

"Yeah, what were the odds again?"

"Ninety six million to one," Phil smiled once again, showing his perfect teeth.

"Wow."

"Yep."

"All done."

They both looked up to see Alan in a dark blue suit specially suited to have no pockets, just incase he decided to bring something.

Phil smiled once again and wiped a fake tear from his eye, "my little boy's all grown up!" He reached an arm around a snickering Doug, "we did good hun."

Doug shoved him away and gave him a "really dude" glare.

Alan pulled out his man purse-I mean satchel and threw it over his shoulder.

Doug immediately got up, sensing trouble,"Whoa, what's _that?_" He pointed an accusing finger at the bag hanging loosely at Alan's side.

"That's a satchel Doug."

"No satchels."

"But it's where I keep my-"

"Stuff," Phil stood up, "you're not going to need that."

He crossed his arms and stood in front of Alan; a warning sign.

"But Stu said I could!"

"When did I say that?" Stu walked over from the kitchen to finally contribute to the conversation. He stood next to Phil, but his expression was more of confusion then irritation.

"In your sleep. When I asked you."

The three of them stopped for a second to stare at him. Alan did not waver in the slightest.

He shook his head back to mimic Phil's hairstyle, "I'll wait for you guys in the car. Go Wolf Pack!" and scurried off.

"Why did you invite him!" Stu glared at Phil.

"He's _our_ friend, I couldn't just leave him," He leaned against the wall and looked down at Stu his warning expression now on Stu.

"He's delusional! I think I heard Tracey say he's escaped from several hospitals!"

"Really?" Doug chipped in.

"That's cool," Phil grinned.

Stu glared, "That is so _not_ cool!"

Doug and Phil shared a look, and then nodded, "yeah, it _is."_

"Fine, but I'm holding _you_ responsible Phil if he drugs us again and we end up killing someone!"

"Oh c'mon! We searched him," Phil cooed as he puts a hand on Stu's shoulder, squeezing slightly, "besides, we're going on a cruise ship. What's the worst that can happen?"

"I could be left out in the sun to long-again," Doug spit out sourly.

"See, worse case scenario, Doug gets turned into a human lobster." He slaps Stu on the back reassuringly.

"I don't know about this, when the four of us are together we tend to ruin our lives in any way possible," Stu rubbed where he was slapped.

"Fine. Stay home Dr. Faggot, " he started walking away, a small grin on his lips.

"Ok! I'll go!" Stu groaned, rubbing his temples, "on one condition."

Phil looked up, "what condition?"

"_You're_ bunking with Alan."

"…Deal."

It took them a few minutes but soon they were ready to go. Phil decided he'd rather have a beer then drive for a couple hours so he was squeezed in the back of his camero with a snoozing Alan. Stu sat next to Doug, reading some manual he had picked up in his office. Doug was of course, left to drive.

Alan had his eyes closed and was slowly inching his way into cuddling with Phil, but for every inch Phil moved two more away from him.

"Aww, I think he likes you," Stu mocked.

Phil gave him the finger and a flash of a smile. He shoved Alan back onto his side of the camero.

"How close are we Doug? He growled, keeping his glaring eyes locked onto Stu.

"Uhm, 'bout an hour."

The three of them groaned. Alan's snores got a bit louder as if to match them.

"Get comfy guys," Phil said, "for this is the only rest were getting- the rest is non stop Alan drug free partying!"

Doug and Stu grinned and fist bumped.

Alan snorted.

**A/N- Please give me your ideas to what they should do on the cruise ship. I need help coming up with this stuff. :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N-**** I am writing to you from a**_** Relay for Life **_**Held every year for those battling with cancer. Recently, I have gotten a terrible virus and am stuck hidden away in a tent hoping none of these children run into it. [So far some have tried, but I keep shooing them away by saying, "Grrr, I am the angry tent monster. Now go before I eat your left spleen!"] So I hope this chapter is okay considering I'm being constantly interrupted and my sickness is slowing my train of thought. **

Phil shifted his sunglasses for the fifth time. The heat was burning his skin to the point he felt like he was going to melt where he stood. He looked to his side and saw the powerful ocean waves merging with the long stretch of pier. Licking his chalky dry lips, he imagined himself submerged in the cool waters, banishing all the suns heat from his skin. Reluctantly, he removes his eyes from the tempting waters, and focuses them forward.

"What do you mean these are invalid!" He could hear Stu shrieking in front of him. Oddly enough, he couldn't remember what started this conversation. "Phil won these fair and square!" _Was he talking about the tickets?_

The man by Stu lifted up his hands as he tried to calm him, "They invalid," his heavy Chinese accent slopped over his words, "they no ring up in machine!"

Phil blunk. _Wait a minute_. He stepped closer looking down at the short man. He swore he heard that voice before. A baseball cap on the man's head shielded his face from him. He was almost tempted to retreat his actions when Doug cut in.

"Why don't you call the manager?" Doug was right to cut in. They didn't need a fight right now, and by the way Stu was boiling up, it looked like there was going to be one. Phil heard a noise to his left, peeking over he saw Alan sticking his feet in the ocean water. He licked his lips again.

"Why don't you suck these little Chinese nuts!"

_Wait-what?_ He looked backed at him. The man started laughing, his body bending backwards to emphasis it. Stu grabbed hold of him and removed the cap.

"Chow!" they shouted in unison.

"Get your hands off me gay boys!" Chow yelled as he reached into his coat.

Phil's eyes widened as everything suddenly moved in slow motion. He didn't know how this could happen, or when he got here, but he knew one thing for sure, it wasn't going to end well.

The first thing he saw was the grip of the pistol being pulled out of the coat. He wanted to run, but his body wasn't responding fast enough. He peered up to see the smile on chows lips as he pulled back the hammer and aimed at Stu. Stu's expression was as horrified as Phil's when suddenly his body was being forced backwards by the sudden hit of a bullet.

Phil shouted in surprise and stumbled backwards, his knees going weak as he saw the gun being aimed at Doug. He heard the shot, but didn't see it, as he turned to run. But the criminal was quicker.

He opened his eyes to see the barrel facing him. He tried to cover his chest, but felt the bullet knock the air from him first. His body crashed to the ground. He heard another shot, probably intended for Alan, before all the noise drowned out into Chow's sickening laughter.

He sensed his body being shaken. He tried to cry out, but he couldn't. He felt his blood leaking out from his chest and seeping down it onto his stomach and lap. It pooled there and stained his clothes with a sickening maroon color. There was a sudden pressure on his shoulder, and it pushed him.

He slowly opened his eyes.

"Hay sleepin' beauty! You spilt your beer." Doug glared at him, tossing a napkin onto his lap.

"Haha! It looks like he peed!" Alan shouted, laughing.

Phil gasped and grasped his chest, looking for any holes. He looked at his hand to see beer staining his fingers, not blood. He sighed in relief, "it was just a dream."

"Clean yourself up," Said Stu, "We're almost at the admission gate."

Phil grabbed the napkin resting on his lap and began dabbing at the beer. Though, his mind was somewhere else entirely.

_Why would I dream something like that? Even after the whole adventure with the fucking roofies and adhd medicine I didn't even think about Chow! What was brining it up now?_

"Sir!"

Phil gasped and looked up. An angry middle aged man with a scruffy beard was holding out his hand in Phil's direction. Phil looked at it confused until Stu said, "tickets Phil."

"Oh. Right, sorry." He reached into his pocket and placed the tickets in the man's hand, "guess I'm out of it today."

He only received an angry grunt in return. The gate in front of their car slowly opened and they were released inside.

**A/N-**** Don't forget to review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N- Sorry about the wait guys! I was trying to re-kindle my love of the A-Team by watching the movie and the old series again, it didn't really work but it pulled my mind off completely of this story. –And then of course I started watching Martin Mystery, but that's just because I had this weird dream, enough of that, lets get back to the story shall we?**

It was getting dark out.

Doug couldn't believe what he was seeing. Well, other than the fact that for the past half hour of the drive Alan was middling random children. They finally made it to the end of the pier and there was no trouble in sight. He even stopped walking, making Stu trip over him, to tell them.

Stu was the first to agree with him, after picking himself up of course. Alan just snorted and ran off. Phil didn't even reply, he kept his head down and his eyes to the floor, like he was trying to remember something, that or hide his face as much as he could. Doug didn't notice it before, but he looked shaken up. He was going to ask but Alan jumped in between them, pointing forward, "Hay guys look!"

Doug was reading himself to lose all faith in a trip where no one was going to get drunk and lost somewhere out in the middle of the pacific, but smiled when he saw Alan running over to the cruise ship and pointing at some barnacles stuck to the bottom of it.

"I will call you Fred, and you Gruff, and you Lady Sincere-" They all decided to stop listening to Alan at that point.

Phil picked up his bag from the car, "you guys ready to have the best two weeks of your life?"

Stu followed suit and picked up his, he gave Phil a look, "Hopefully not that much of the 'best' because the two other 'bests' ended up being the worst."

Alan walked over, grabbing his bag, "Maybe it works if you say it opposite? Let's have the worst two weeks of our lives! Go wolf pack!"

Doug rolled his eyes.

Phil chuckled.

Stu whimpered.

This was going to be a long two weeks.

When they got to their cabins inside the cruise ship they were amazed. The size and quality of them were outstanding. They almost reminded them of the villa in Las Vegas. And that's what made them decide to get a different room.

It took about an hour to finally get settled in their new room. It was small, but quaint. There were three beds. Doug glared at Phil until he gave up and agreed to sleep in the same bed as Alan.

But that's when Alan decided to admit his sleeping habits. And Phil's sheets were moved to the floor.

Stu took a lot longer than them to decide where he was going to sleep. The two beds that were in question was the obviously comfy bed, or the window pull-out couch bed. This bed had the best view of the ocean, and Doug was going to let him have it, but Stu suddenly convinced himself he could fall out of the bed and roll into the ocean.

That made the other three crack up, and Stu felt so embarrassed that he crawled into the comfier bed and pulled the blanket over his head.

Soon enough the other three crawled into their beds.

Phil had almost lulled himself to sleep when he heard someone calling his name.

"Psst, Phil." He tried to ignore it, but the pestering sound was very resilient.

"Phiiiill. Hay! Phil!"

"Phil, will you answer him so he'll shut up?" Stu grumbled through his sheets.

Phil groaned, "What Alan?"

"Will you sing me a lullaby?"

"What did you just ask me?" Phil sat up, glaring over the rim of the bed into Alan's eyes.

"I can't sleep without a lullaby!"

"Okay, God!" Phil stood up and sat on the corner of the bed. Alan pulled his knees up and peered over them at Phil. Anxiously waiting for the music.

At this point Stu and Doug had both gathered around with grins on their faces. It was fun to humiliate Phil.

Phil sighed heavily. He coughed to clear his throat. "Now Alan, I made this song for you, in about five seconds."

Alan giggled, "Go go!"

Phil sang, "If you don't fall asleep,

I'm going to grab your face,

And throw you into the ocean

Where I hope you get eaten by sharks."

And by that point, Alan was fast asleep. Phil looked up at Stu and Doug who were both utterly confused and entertained by that little show.

Phil grinned, "you two ladies going to bed, or do you want me to sing you a song too?"

**A/N- I mostly wrote this chapter for the comedy. I like comedy. I hope you found that funny!**

**Please write your ideas in reviews, I'll most likely do it!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N- Sorry for the shortness I didn't really feel like adding more *shrug* **

It didn't take long for the four of them to fall asleep. Alan was tucked under his covers, conveniently hiding the fact that he was butt naked. Stu was lying on his side, cuddling a pillow. Doug was lying face down with an arm hanging off the side of the bed. And lastly Phil, who was shuffling under his covers and locked into a nightmare.

* * *

><p>There was a low growling noise off to his right. He couldn't see what it was coming from, the blackness of the room concealing it. He felt blind and helpless, like a turtle knocked onto its back. He moved his arms out, trying to feel for something, anything.<p>

He stood up slowly, trying to make sure he wasn't going to fall over anything. He walked onward, trying to get out of all the darkness.

He blinked a couple of times, attempting to see if his eyes were even open. He never felt so alone. So blind. So vulnerable.

"Hello?" he cried, "is anyone there?" He listened for a moment, but only heard the low growl once more. He patted his stomach.

"Alone and hungry in a dark room then, perfect."

The agitation of the lightless and seemingly lifeless room was getting to him. He was breathing faster and sweat was tickling his forehead. He kept looking around, but there was nothing to look for. It was empty.

He was getting desperate. He darted forward and suddenly felt himself get knocked onto his back. He rubbed his face and moved forward again, feeling the hardness of a wall. But it wasn't a solid wall, there were long poles coming down from some kind of ceiling.

He gulped.

It was a cage.

The growling was moving closer. Phil struggled to stand, his heart racing as realization settled in. He was in a cage, with a hungry tiger-perfect.

He grabbed hold of the bars and screamed out of them, "HELP!"

The footsteps of the tiger patted the ground, causing an echoing sound as it slowly made its way closer.

Phil looked over his shoulder, surprised to see the glint of two angry eyes, and two very sharp fangs.

He looked back out of the bars and kept screaming and screaming for help. But there was nothing there, only darkness.

He felt something grab onto his shoulder and he screamed once more, before shutting his eyes and waiting for the rest to come.

He felt his body being pushed to the ground and he opened his eyes, to see Alan looking down at him.

He screamed once more to see the fact that his best friend hadn't put some clothes on yet.

"ALAN!" Phil sat up and covered his eyes, "PUT SOME FUCKING PANTS ON!"

Alan huffed and walked off to the side.

"Oh my god, what the hell is wrong with you!"

Stu frowned and looked at Phil, "I think we should be asking the same thing."

Phil raised an eyebrow, "What are you talking about?" He got up slowly, looking around slightly like he was surprised to even be where he was.

"I'm talking about your nightmares Phil."

"Oh those? Their not nightmares, their just weird dreams that happen to be like nightmares."

"Fine don't tell us," Doug cut in, "but we can't help you if you don't tell us what's bothering you."

"Jesus! What is this; an intervention?" Phil glared, backing up a few feet.

Alan shrugged his shoulders, having finally gotten some decent clothes on, "We were worried about you."

"Well don't be, there's nothing wrong!"

"Clearly there is," Doug muttered, "look whatever it is Phil will tell us when he's ready. Let's just enjoy the cruise."

Phil was going to say something but stopped himself. He didn't want to draw out the conversation any further. They were dropping the subject; he did however mutter a small thank you.

Doug nodded.

Stu clapped his hands, "Okay, get dressed everyone, our first day of this cruise begins now!"


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N- Happy Fourth of July everyone! I'm home with my family, but I got into a fight with my younger sister and had to get away for a while. I got bored so I typed up this chapter. I guess you can figure what's going to happen in the next chapter :/ **

Stu was the first to be changed and waiting outside the door. He moved his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and swayed back and forth. He was dressed in a nice white collared shirt and long black pants.

He was waiting for the rest of his "wolf pack" to emerge outside of that door and be ready for a day full of fun, and no unwanted mishaps.

For the first day of the cruise they were going to have a dinner with the captain. It was going to be a large occasion, full of class and music. Because of the tickets Phil had won they would be able to sit close to the captain. Maybe even hear some of his famous stories about wild winds and wayward storms. For once, Phil had done something right.

He checked his clothes again, maybe this wasn't classy enough. He should probably put on a tie and cufflinks, maybe even some fancy shoes...

Doug walked out of the room, running a hand through his hair and shaking his head. He was dressed similar to Stu, but he had a tie.

"Ugh, prepare yourself," he muttered.

"For what?" Stu raised an eyebrow and looked back at the door.

Phil walked out with a Hawaiian shirt, khaki shorts, and sandals. He stretched his arms out and yawned.

"So when do we get to meet all the hot chicks?" He grinned, showing off his perfect teeth.

Stu face palmed. "No, get back in there. Change your clothes."

Phil shook his head. He laughed slightly, "No way, I'm not going to some dinner all choked up in an ugly shirt like Duke of ugly ties here." He motion over to Doug.

"It's not that ugly-is it?"

Stu groaned, "I'm not going to a dinner with you like that!"

An elderly woman walking by scowled at Stu and shook her head.

Stu gasped, "No, we're not!-"

Phil put an arm round his shoulders, "What's wrong honey, embarrassed to be with me?"

Alan walked out wearing almost the exact same thing Phil was. Phil looked over at him with a raised eyebrow, "That's just scary dude."

Alan shrugged and turned around to hide the fact he was picking his nose.

Doug snickered and looked at Stu, "Ready to go?"

Stu looked at Phil and removed his arm, "You're not sitting next to me-got it?"

Phil chuckled, "got it."

"-No, you're not even going to look at me, you're not going to talk to me, you're not even going to know me-got it?"

"Who the hell are you?" Phil looked at him confused and moved next to Alan, who had his finger in his mouth.

"Good," Stu marched ahead and Doug followed.

Phil started to go, but turned to see Alan staring at a painting. He grabbed his arm and pulled him along, "C'mon fatso."

Soon enough they found themselves in a large rounded room where almost every person who had booked the cruise were dancing and having fun in suits and formal attired. Phil just shrugged and started shaking his hips to the music.

Doug and Stu began looking for their seats.

Alan followed Phil to a bar off on the far side of the room. Phil started to ignore Alan; at this point he was just a second shadow to him. Though he did offer to get Alan a drink, whom refused due to some outrageous thing that must have happened in his past.

Phil noticed a beautiful blonde woman drinking some over priced margarita. He walked over casually and took a seat next to her.

Alan went to follow, but smelled food in the air and scurried off to find it.

Phil got himself a drink and smiled at her, "Hay."

She looked up, a shy expression on her face, "Hi."

Phil relaxed slightly in his chair and leaned against the counter of the bar, "Nice party."

The girl shrugged, "I guess so."

He smiled his fancy smile and looked over at her, "A girl like you should be having fun in a party like this."

She went to protest but he grabbed her arm gently and pulled her over to the dance floor.

"Here, dance with me!"

She giggled slightly and finally gave in. They started to dance, and Phil was clearly enjoying himself.

Alan sniffled slightly at seeing all of his friends busy. Doug and Stu in grabbing their food and talking to some girls they met on the line, and Phil, shaking his thing with some blonde lady. It made Alan realize how alone he was.

He looked around trying to find someone to talk to.

That's when he noticed a very large man with a captain's hat. He gasped and ran over.

"I'm guessing you're the captain!" He grinned like a child.

The captain chuckled slightly, "Yes. Yes I am."

"Wow, I've always wanted to a captain, especially with a boat so large!"

"Ship, actually. And yes, a lot of people tell me that." He rubbed his chin, "say, have you seen a woman about yey tall with blond hair and a purple dress?"

Alan nodded, "Yeah, my buddy Phil's dancing with her now, he usually dances with them and then takes them to his room, which he locks me out of." He looked down. When he finally looked back up, the captain was gone.

"Huh, must have had to use the bathroom."

**A/N- If you haven't noticed I only write the next chapter if I get a review, so if you want the next chapter as soon as possible, review and you shall receive! **


End file.
